Sorrow, Stress, and Sustainability

The mission has always been the same. My pain and agony has always been the same. The fact is, life is hard, and it's so easy to get so caught up in living it that you forget to better yourself. It's too easy to hurt the people around you.

I've never really known how to understand this. I've never quite figured out how to internalize and make sense of a world so eager to tear itself apart. Yet somehow, I've always known that there is something that I can do. Something that I can contribute. I just never knew what.

I had a lightbulb moment today.

Sorrow

I spoke above about the pain caused by persons to one another--this is my sorrow. A coach of mine advised me to explore within myself what makes my heart hurt, and that was it. Loud and clear.

Lately I've been following a lot about the sustainability movement, whether sustainable housing a la Michael Reynolds's earthships or sustainable practices as championed by the Valhalla Movement) who profess themselves a "tribe of storytellers out to proliferate freedom culture"). Reading about these topics and viewing podcasts on youtube gave me a jolt of energy, but left me confused. I knew that there was a passion here, too, much as there is a passion within me for stories, for language, for communication and healing. Like a mind/body sort of thing.

But what was the connection?

The Biggest W

There are, of course, the five Ws: who, what, where, when and why (and how). For me, the big question about my sorrow was Why. Why do we hurt each other? Why is it so easy? Easy to the point of subconsciousness. Easy to the point of remorselessness. We don't mean to hurt each other, mostly. So what's the deal?

Stress also reduces pigmentation.

It could be stressors. Money, work, obligation, money, taxes, money. You've heard this all before in some neatly-tied diatribe about the evils of consumption and capitalism, but I mean even more basically that our survival (food, water, and shelter) is dependent on income (work), and there are only so many lucky few who come home from a day of work feeling refreshed and ready to take on the rest of the day.

More likely, we get short. We're ill-tempered. We spent all day fixing the mistakes of our coworkers or (ha!) making our own. We've spent all day watching the baby. The baby is teething. Payroll is due. Insurance won't cover the birthing costs from a year ago (true story). The computer's broken. We're out of food--at least, anything we want in the moment. The car won't start. The car might not start tomorrow, or the next day. The sun sets at 4:00 and everything is dismal. It's cold. You're tired. You have a headache. Your hours have been cut.

Problems. Issues. Stressors.

The Answer?

Honestly, I'm not sure. But I think sustainability is an interesting place to start. Good for the environment? Sure, that's great. Healthy? Excellent.

But liberating? You bet. Because as nice as some of the outcomes of sustainability may be, the one I'm most interested in is the freedom to walk away from stress. It's the chance to free up your mind to live in the present moment. It's the freedom to focus on what you're saying, and why, and to whom.

All of these can be managed by personal willpower alone. But maybe we need a guidebook or guide to show us how to make it a little bit easier.

And that's at least part of the connection I've been looking for.

Lessons from a Cup of "Tea" and Transformers

One of my new favorites!

Mmmm, Tea

I've had run-ins with rooibos before, and I remember being underwhelmed, so naturally I was hesitant to try this South African red tea from Numi. This time, I took a moment to look over the box and found some key descriptors--earthy and vanilla. Two pieces of information I didn't have on my last tasting some odd years ago.

You see, upon first tasting I was evaluating the drink with no compass telling me where to look or how to interpret the signals of taste I was experiencing. Later, having been given the keys of "earthy" and "vanilla," I was suddenly able to read into what made the beverage what it was.

Proper Evaluations

If only it could transform
into something more serious...

We've done this before. You look at someone or some thing and you think you know what to expect. You think you know what criteria to evaluate based on. Only later, when you've made some crucial errors or given way to grievous misunderstandings do you realize that you (or that thing, or this product, or that business) were speaking an entirely different language.

I'm reminded more casually of the Transformers movie franchise, where I expected some seriously dramatic robot wars, and what I got was special effects and bathroom humor. (I've since tried to rewatch these--they're still not quite what I'd like from a Transformers movie, but it helps to know that what I wanted was not at all what they had been trying to make.) 

Life, the Treasure--Communication, the Map

That's a pretty low stakes example. What about when you're in an interview process for the job of your dreams? What if you're on a first date with that someone you've had your eye on for weeks? What if things aren't going so well between you and your spouse, and they've been steadily declining? These things matter. These things directly affect the direction and quality of your life.

We need to be prepared to interact on the same communicative level as the people around us. Communication--proper communication, where what is being said is equal to what is being heard--is the unifying tool that maps out this all-too-confusing system, where everyone has his or her own unique experience of the world. Communication is the glue that holds us together.

Do a Double Take

Is there something you've passed judgment on that begs a re-evaluation? Is there another way of looking at something that can afford you a better experience? Do a double take when you feel basic judgments coming on, and you'll discover a wealth of experience all around you.

Keep an eye out for these opportunities in the coming days, and let me know what you discover. I'm eager to hear from you! Until then, stay safe, get your shopping done before the last minute, and I'll see you next week.

Shields Up!

I stumbled across something funny while researching for this post. I guess subzin.com is a site where you enter a phrase and it kicks back any/all movies or shows with that quote in them. Sort of an odd project, but if bouncing around on the web is your thing (and not just a distraction from your passions! See below *wink*), I'm sure you could sink some time into it. Relevant: here's a search based on "shields up." As expected, a lot of Star Trek.

How was the turkey?

Did I leave the shields on this morning?

I should start with a belated Happy Thanksgiving! Hopefully you all had a good time with family and friends and didn't overeat. But hey, this post is not about Thanksgiving--or Star Trek for that matter. Today we're talking about shields. You know, those things you put up to protect, deflect, and otherwise disengage with whatever's thrown at you. Often, shields protect us from nasty stuff out there, but sometimes they keep us from greatness.

Shields in plain sight

• Online anonymity is a shield that all too often allows people to act less than desirably.
• Being cruel is a shield. The best defense is a strong offense and all that. But really, you're just trying to protect yourself, aren't you?
• Distractions are shields. Oh yeah. That last hour you spent on Youtube was entertaining, sure, but is it really where your passions lie? Is it where you'll be putting the work in? If so, then hey, go ahead. More likely? Your distractions are shields that keep you from doing your best work. (tweetable)
• Laziness is the shieldiest of all shields. How can you ever find yourself in a risky situation if you're never doing anything? How can you take a chance to grow?
• Not giving a loved one the benefit of the doubt? That's a shield too. That's just preparing for the worst without even considering the best.

My Distractions

A well-known good-type shield.

There was a time not so long ago where I had been sucked in to multiple smartphone games. Granted, they were fun, and yes, some of them dealt especially with franchises I was passionate about (the Marvel Universe in particular), but I could feel them sucking the life away from me. Many of these games are built with a sort of "play as much as you can within one week" or something like that. They reward you not just for playing, but for high frequency and devotion.

You see, games in particular deliver an insidious lie--that they matter. But at the end of the day, the number of points or experience or whatever is not going to affect your life nearly as much as, say, reading a book on a topic you're interested in, or researching something to help you improve in an area of your choosing. That's right--YOUR choosing. Nobody's here pushing you to be one way or another, to do one thing over the next. Not even me. You have to be true to what you want. You have to follow through with your passions, and if that really is phone games, or online videos, then maybe you should look into careers that take advantage of those passions.

It's just like those phone games--high frequency and devotion go a long way. But think--what if you took that fervor, that vigor, towards your dreams?

Circumstantial

The thing is, there are shields all around us. Only your circumstances will determine whether they will better serve as a helper or a hinderance. Only you can decide. And I'm hoping you choose to give the world your best work. Because remember; you deserve the Better World, and The Better World deserves you.

Be good, stay safe, and check in with me next week for some more shenanigans!